he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i think i have two assholes
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
