Can Purell be used as lube?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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