i need an iv and a liver transplant
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
