She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
