and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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