The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
