Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
