I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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