and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
