Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
