She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
