He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
