My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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