i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
