He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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