im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
