Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
