I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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