i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
