i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
