That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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