you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
