They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
