but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
