wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
