what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
