so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
dude. I can hear the air.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
