lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
