we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you are never too drunk for berry picking
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
