i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
