I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
