i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
