I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
