Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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