If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
