does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
how does that bad decision feel?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
