I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize