Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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