I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
as a side note pls kill me
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