I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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