She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
