Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
