I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
