That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
