Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
