Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
