dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
