i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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