I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
