problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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