Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Are my feet made of real feet?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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