I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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