Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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