____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
