My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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